Transcript

AJ: Hey everyone, welcome once again to Podcast in Death, the weekly podcast where we discuss the In Death series of books by J.D. Robb. I am AJ—

Tara: I’m Tara.

AJ: —and this is episode… two fifteen, I think? We figured it out.

This episode isn’t going to be like our typical episode, because it’s going to be more “podcast business.” It’ll probably be short, and it’s going to be hard for Tara and me to do.

I think everyone who listens to us knows that over the last couple of years—both personally and as podcast hosts—Jen, Tara, and I have experienced a lot of significant life changes. Tara and I have both lost family members. We’ve all three lost pets that meant a lot to us. Jen especially has had a lot of health challenges. I’ve been struggling with my job and with my mom.

We’ve mentioned it many times: it’s been a rough year for all three of us. And even though we try not to bring that into the podcast, sometimes it does affect how we do the podcast—how we interact with each other, how we show up mentally. Everything gets affected by outside influences at different times. Even little things like pets making clicking noises on the floor.

But the good thing about the podcast is that no matter what’s happening outside of it—external pressures—it’s been a place we can come together and talk about something we’re passionate about. I can only speak for myself, but I think Tara would agree that it has positive mental effects.

Tara: Yeah. It’s like a nice break from everything else—to be allowed that space to, for lack of a better term, fangirl about something with someone else.

AJ: Exactly. With someone who understands what you’re going through, understands the passion, shares it, and helps you through it by just talking about the thing you love.

But the other thing is… doing a podcast like this is work. It’s a lot of work mentally, and it’s a lot of work physically. It can look like we’re “just coming in and talking,” but there’s a lot behind the scenes that isn’t obvious. And producing it can be stressful—even in the best of times.

I know some people listening right now are probably thinking, “Oh my God, what is happening?” And I know this sounds dire, but I want to be clear: this is not me announcing the end of the podcast. At least not for now.

Tara: Right.

AJ: We still have another several years of podcast left in us. We still have a ton of books to get through, a lot to talk about, and a lot of people we want to talk to and have on the show.

But because of everything that’s been going on, we did feel like the overall dynamic—how we do the podcast, how we’ve interacted—has changed over the last couple of years. For us, internally, the vibe shifted. Our hope has been that the episodes have felt the same to you as they always have, and based on how you’ve reacted to the episodes, we feel like we’ve still delivered something entertaining.

Also: I’m doing most of the talking because Tara is sick.

Tara: (coughing) I’m muting my mic and coughing a lot.

AJ: It’s fine.

But because it felt like the vibe changed for us, I really had to think about where I wanted the podcast to go as someone who considers it kind of my baby. I felt responsible for thinking about how to move forward in a way that’s best for us mentally, and best for all of you listening.

So… we felt it was time to make some changes.

And the question becomes: what changes did we decide to make to move forward in a way that’s still entertaining for you, while also protecting the mental health of the hosts?

After a lot of careful consideration, and a few behind-the-scenes meetings between all of us, we have decided to ask Jen to step away from the podcast.

This wasn’t a decision made lightly. I told Jen and Tara that if I could get into a time machine and go back to the first couple of years of the podcast and have everything be exactly like it was, I would do it in a heartbeat. The first couple of years were amazing—for you, and for us. We were in a good headspace, coming together to talk about something we love.

And I don’t know if Tara would back me up on this, but it felt like the first couple of years—maybe two and a half—every episode was better than the last. We hope that came through.

But that just didn’t seem to be happening lately. And I don’t want to put blame on anyone. It’s just how things ended up. External factors happened, and we all internalized them differently, and it affected how we related to each other and how we related to the podcast.

I know I’m being vague, but I don’t want to put this on any one person. This podcast is a group effort, and if all of us have weirdness happening in life, it’s going to affect the podcast.

I don’t know if I’m explaining this well.

Tara: I don’t know that there’s an easy way to explain it. Sometimes you’re in a space that’s literally impossible to navigate eloquently.

But we do want to say that we 100% understand the love and respect you all have for Jen. We also love Jen, and have a lot of respect for her.

She’s navigated some pretty choppy waters these last couple of years.

AJ: And you all know there was already a time when Jen had to step back and do some healing from things going on in her life. This is really an extension of that.

Sometimes you need to step back and take a break. A lot has been happening for Jen, and it’s been an extra thing in her life. When she and I spoke about this, it was a mutual agreement that with everything going on, she needs to step back and take an extended break from the podcast.

It’s hard to admit that to yourself when you love a thing. But sometimes it isn’t obvious until you’re in it.

And yeah, she’s been dealing with a lot. It wasn’t an easy decision.

Tara: It can’t always be easy, which sucks.

AJ: It can’t always be a clear answer, which is just shitty.

The truth is: she’s gone through a lot, I’ve gone through a lot, and those things combined did affect how we related to each other—sometimes positively and sometimes negatively. And at a certain point, you have to realize time apart can be the only way to heal wounds or gain perspective.

Jen is still part of this, just like all of you are.

Tara: Mhm.

AJ: As far as I know, she’ll still be active in our Facebook group. We want to make it clear this decision was made with mutual understanding and respect. We remain friends. There’s no animosity, no big fight, no argument. This was a decision made between all of us.

We’re united in doing what’s best for the podcast, and also supporting each other through the things we’re navigating.

Tara: Yes.

AJ: You’ll probably still see Jen commenting in the Facebook group, and on Instagram. And we talked about maybe sometime down the road having her on again—maybe as a guest—or even discussing bringing her back permanently if it feels right and mentally we’re all in the right place.

So it’s not like we’re erasing her from podcasting or from the fandom. She’s still one of us.

Tara: Absolutely.

AJ: I apologize if this is a shock.

Patrons usually get episodes early, and I’d ask patrons not to say anything publicly in the Facebook group or on Instagram until the episode releases. This one will probably release on the 27th.

You can still contact us. You can comment on Patreon. For anyone else—if you have questions or concerns, you can reach out and we’ll answer the best we can.

And you can still contact Jen too. She’s not gone from the fandom. She’s still part of it. I’m sure she’d love to hear from you. Reach out, send messages, show your support.

So where do we go from here? It’s going to be Tara and me from this point forward. And we’re going to try to make each episode as entertaining with just us as it has been.

We still encourage you all to get involved—send episode topic ideas, or if you want to be on the show, let us know. We’ve had times in the Facebook group where people have said, “Hey, you need to contact this author,” and we’re up for all of that.

I guess that’s about it.

Tara: Hopefully this is a good thing for all of us—moving forward positively, healing time for Jen, and healing for the parts of the podcast that felt a bit off. We can find a different rhythm that works.

We appreciate all the support you’ve given Jen, and all of you listening. Keep reaching out, keep engaging. Ultimately, this is us all talking about something we love. And that includes all of us.

AJ: Right.

So yeah—this is a short episode, but it’s kind of a reset. So that next week it’s not a shock when it’s just us. We want to be transparent. We’re not erasing someone from the dynamic—we’re being up front about what’s going on.

And I wish Tara wasn’t sick so she could talk more. She seems more articulate about this than I am.

Tara: That’s not true.

AJ: But really—from the bottom of our hearts—we appreciate all of you who have listened and supported us through the last four years. This podcast wouldn’t be what it is without you. And we hope we can give you another two, three, four years going forward.

So thank you for listening, and for being part of this fandom. We really, really appreciate you.

Tara: Thank you guys.

AJ: And I guess with that… that’s it for this episode of Podcast in Death. We have no idea what we’re talking about next.

Tara: I actually do know what we’re talking about next.

AJ: Okay, what are we talking about next?

Tara: It was a suggestion—I think—from Justine Hopper (and if it’s not, I really apologize). The idea is: what would you have on your In Death bingo card? What things happen over and over in the series—like if you made bingo cards or a drinking game, what would be on it?

AJ: That’s what we’re doing next week. I posted the suggestion in the Facebook page and we got a ton of replies, so I’m excited. It’ll be fun to talk about.

So until then… thank you. We appreciate you. Onward and upward, I suppose.

Tara: That’s right.

AJ: For now, that’s it for this episode of Podcast in Death. This is AJ—

Tara: This is Tara—

AJ: —and we’ll see you next week, guys. Bye-bye.

Tara: Bye.